If (with Kipling's blessings)

If you can measure yourself

with the eye scales of the woman

who survived your enemy

If you can hold the woman

you had leaned into until she warmed

and, looking into her eyes, say

why you are afraid

If you can walk out of the shadow

of your father's failing,

your mother's distress,

and then if you can turn to the cleansing heat

of summer sun and make a vow

to care a little less

If you can make flowers flower

on poisoned land

and kiss every fruit

If you can shut up

about a woman's dress when

you do not hope to wear it

If you can mutely nod

when women speak of what is done

in your name

If you can say,

never again!

and mean it

If you can stare deep into the well

of your heart and drink

up your twisted truths

and speak, though aflame 

with shame

If you can build the grand things

that feed your hate

If you can cook the animals

your ancestors ate

If you can smile at neighbours

who will not cease their cry of 'apart! apart!' 

and invite them in every weekend

for their antidote of art

If you can build a school

where all-all-all is the norm

If you can build a storm shelter

for lovers on the run

If you can take the place of sons

murdered for the wrong hat

or those mothers stripped and paraded

for living with their pride intact

If you can learn to dance 

just because no one dances

any more

If you can sing the song 

of the weak when their throats 

are too sore

If you can hear the howls outside

and step out, 

armed or not

If you can turn away from 

those videos of the naked 

and the harmed

If you can rally against those 

who trade off your will

for wealth 

If you can force your vote to translate

into water, hope and health

If you can let the gods be,

One or many or all,

let them speak from themselves 

from above

You will have learnt to be a man, 

my brother, my friend, my love.

(c) Annie Zaidi

First published here: http://www.dailyo.in/arts/if-poetry-masculinity-sexism-rudyard-kipling/story/1/18709.html